Mad Swine

Location: A dimly lit hotel bar on Madison Avenue.

Don Draper fiddles with something in his drink. Joan Harris, who will soon become Joan Holloway again thanks to the divorce papers she has just been served, looks perplexed.

Joan: Is that…?

Don: Yes. It is.

Joan: In an Old Fashioned? Who would do that?

Don: They say in 46 years, a place in Winter Park, Fla., called The Ravenous Pig will serve these. It’s an Old Fashioned made with bacon-infused bourbon with a piece of candied bacon floating on top. Despite the name and the obvious love of all things porcine, people will be shocked to learn that The Ravenous Pig is not a barbecue joint. Then they’ll read the superimposed text on the menu and the large display on the outside wall that quite clearly points out the place is a gastropub. Whatever that means.

Joan: My, that is an awfully specific vision of the future. But isn’t the area around Orlando just 50 square miles of orange groves and snakes?

Don: I hear some theme park is going up west of there. Maybe we can land the account at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. After we lock down Jaguar, of course.

Joan: Back to the bacon.

Don: Joan, you’re still a married woman.

Joan: Not according to those papers I flung out the window on the drive over. Seriously, let’s talk pork. So not only is there a piece of candied bacon floating in your glass, there is also bacon in the bourbon?

Don: Yes. Every sip is like a kiss from Aphrodite herself.

Joan: Hmmm. I may have to try one. Want to watch me lock lips with Aphrodite, Don?

Don grips his glass so hard it explodes in his fingers, sending the strip of candied bacon hurtling into the glass of a handsome insurance executive three seats over.

Don: I’m so sorry.

Joan: I’ve got this.

Joan adjusts her dress and sashays past Don.

Insurance executive: Is that…?

Joan: Yes. It is.

Aaaaaaaaaand, Scene.

Gruyere biscuits at The Ravenous Pig in Winter Park, Fla.

Softshell crab.

Pork porterhouse.

Shrimp tacos.

S’more in a jar. The second-best idea behind putting bacon in bourbon.

-30-

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About Andy Staples

Eating anything that doesn't eat me first.
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2 Responses to Mad Swine

  1. jdavidharten says:

    Reblogged this on Fish meat is practically a vegetable and commented:
    BaconBaconBaconBaconBaconBaconBaconBaconBaconBaconBacon…….

  2. Pingback: A bacon-infused meal at Frank in Austin, Texas | Extra Mustard - SI.com

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